time for a word change from woody to metally

A fellow reader responds with a question to my Dr. Shake It blog post this week.

                    

I think some words from a fellow genius would be appropriate on this topic before we explore this intriguing phenomenon so I invited my friend LEO to further explain his thoughts.

"The penis does not obey the order of its master, who tries to erect or shrink it at will. Instead, the penis erects freely while its master is asleep. The penis must be said to have its own mind, by any stretch of the imagination."

Leonardo da Vinci

Dear Ms. Big Boobs,

I am SO glad you get rid of the idiot before you even begin, so to speak! Honesty: do you think your boobs (and I am being serious here) attract LOTS of "bad" men? I mean, more than a flat chested woman? My big boobed friends seem to get a lot of side glances, if not straight on - glance - at - chest/breast etc. Just wondering. It's like first you have to fight off the perverts, which can take a long while since there are so many out there, and there's a pervert in every man if you ask me, until finally you get to the a man who has qualities that show beyond his testerone lurkings..

Dear I'm So Glad,  (so as to protect their identity)

1^st  Let's start with an anatomically correct drawing of a penis, sited above. Though personally I have never seen one with that type of bend, I don't know why... I always thought they were straight!

2^nd  It has been my opinion for some time that my breast surgeon doctor slipped MAGNETS into my porn sized breast implants without my consent. 

3^rd  I believe men have 2 little brains down there that are the size of a marble but it is not glass, it is some type of metal. The metal marbles get transferred during the insertion and conception process into what they call “their balls”. It’s something that scientifically usually happens to only baby boys. How else could we justify this behavior my men once they are grown?

4^th  For this I propose a name change to what has been called a WOODY  for years. I think a METALLY would be more appropriate for the lifting action of their penis.

5^th  I accept full responsibility for my GEMILLI’s (my twins as they are called here) bad behavior at times. Ever since their debut at the 2010 Spoleto's Festival of the Two Words, then their real live TV interviews (notice I stated plural), "they have taken on a life of their own" quotes Mama Francesca.

When asked by the local TV camera men and the local village people, "Mama Francesca, where did these come from? Where have you hid them for the past 3 years?" Calmly and frankly Mama Francesca responded "it was their 18th birthday and I dressed them for their coming out into society party, something like a Débutante ball".

Well the news hit the street in Spoleto and the air is filled with the buzz of olives and boobs.

6^th  It's not men’s fault at all. The piece of metal in their pants is so heavy that when they try to lift it they get a METALLY. ALL their blood flow stops going to the small brain in their head on their shoulders and remains below the waist over loading their METALLY.

7^th  Also when asked by men here in the village, “what is your bra size? What number are you?” I have trained my twins to respond with the upmost surprise to such an insulting question and in a manner fitting of a Débutante, not stooping down to their level. So they respond, “I don’t know but for surely a porn sized number!” That usually leaves with their jaw dropped open...

8^th  In conclusion how can I Mama Francesca judge these poor men with metal marbles in their balls, when my own twins (and I am at times ashamed), behave so badly? 


9th  So NO it is not Men's fault. Further medical studies are needed to identify the type of metal in these marbles. Some of the leading national experts believe it they could be LEAD METAL which is a TOXIC METAl leading to insanity. So let's not start with the "name calling" "Dear I'm So Glad" and let's wait for more solid research!


Kisses bella! 

By the way, the media men and movie cameras are arriving in less than 3 weeks for this grand annual event!

maury's deal on patio furniture and sol lewitt's sanctuary

Steve & I loading my new patio furniture
on the roof of his taxi car

Chocolate colored, 4 piece set outdoor patio furniture made from treated iron, weaved poly-rattan material and sand-colored polyester cushions. 
A "festa" addition to my outdoor courtyard garden. When I sat out there for the first time and heard the little birds... I thought... Sol Lewitt sat here too listening to the prior generations of these birds. Google Sol and you will see he is the father of conceptualism and he painted his commanded career art here, in the apartment underneath mine.
It like have a special sanctuary to art's past where ideas arrived and where completed. All this insight and wisdom because I bought an outdoor patio set to throw cocktails party with!