time for a word change from woody to metally

A fellow reader responds with a question to my Dr. Shake It blog post this week.

                    

I think some words from a fellow genius would be appropriate on this topic before we explore this intriguing phenomenon so I invited my friend LEO to further explain his thoughts.

"The penis does not obey the order of its master, who tries to erect or shrink it at will. Instead, the penis erects freely while its master is asleep. The penis must be said to have its own mind, by any stretch of the imagination."

Leonardo da Vinci

Dear Ms. Big Boobs,

I am SO glad you get rid of the idiot before you even begin, so to speak! Honesty: do you think your boobs (and I am being serious here) attract LOTS of "bad" men? I mean, more than a flat chested woman? My big boobed friends seem to get a lot of side glances, if not straight on - glance - at - chest/breast etc. Just wondering. It's like first you have to fight off the perverts, which can take a long while since there are so many out there, and there's a pervert in every man if you ask me, until finally you get to the a man who has qualities that show beyond his testerone lurkings..

Dear I'm So Glad,  (so as to protect their identity)

1^st  Let's start with an anatomically correct drawing of a penis, sited above. Though personally I have never seen one with that type of bend, I don't know why... I always thought they were straight!

2^nd  It has been my opinion for some time that my breast surgeon doctor slipped MAGNETS into my porn sized breast implants without my consent. 

3^rd  I believe men have 2 little brains down there that are the size of a marble but it is not glass, it is some type of metal. The metal marbles get transferred during the insertion and conception process into what they call “their balls”. It’s something that scientifically usually happens to only baby boys. How else could we justify this behavior my men once they are grown?

4^th  For this I propose a name change to what has been called a WOODY  for years. I think a METALLY would be more appropriate for the lifting action of their penis.

5^th  I accept full responsibility for my GEMILLI’s (my twins as they are called here) bad behavior at times. Ever since their debut at the 2010 Spoleto's Festival of the Two Words, then their real live TV interviews (notice I stated plural), "they have taken on a life of their own" quotes Mama Francesca.

When asked by the local TV camera men and the local village people, "Mama Francesca, where did these come from? Where have you hid them for the past 3 years?" Calmly and frankly Mama Francesca responded "it was their 18th birthday and I dressed them for their coming out into society party, something like a Débutante ball".

Well the news hit the street in Spoleto and the air is filled with the buzz of olives and boobs.

6^th  It's not men’s fault at all. The piece of metal in their pants is so heavy that when they try to lift it they get a METALLY. ALL their blood flow stops going to the small brain in their head on their shoulders and remains below the waist over loading their METALLY.

7^th  Also when asked by men here in the village, “what is your bra size? What number are you?” I have trained my twins to respond with the upmost surprise to such an insulting question and in a manner fitting of a Débutante, not stooping down to their level. So they respond, “I don’t know but for surely a porn sized number!” That usually leaves with their jaw dropped open...

8^th  In conclusion how can I Mama Francesca judge these poor men with metal marbles in their balls, when my own twins (and I am at times ashamed), behave so badly? 


9th  So NO it is not Men's fault. Further medical studies are needed to identify the type of metal in these marbles. Some of the leading national experts believe it they could be LEAD METAL which is a TOXIC METAl leading to insanity. So let's not start with the "name calling" "Dear I'm So Glad" and let's wait for more solid research!


Kisses bella! 

By the way, the media men and movie cameras are arriving in less than 3 weeks for this grand annual event!

maury's deal on patio furniture and sol lewitt's sanctuary

Steve & I loading my new patio furniture
on the roof of his taxi car

Chocolate colored, 4 piece set outdoor patio furniture made from treated iron, weaved poly-rattan material and sand-colored polyester cushions. 
A "festa" addition to my outdoor courtyard garden. When I sat out there for the first time and heard the little birds... I thought... Sol Lewitt sat here too listening to the prior generations of these birds. Google Sol and you will see he is the father of conceptualism and he painted his commanded career art here, in the apartment underneath mine.
It like have a special sanctuary to art's past where ideas arrived and where completed. All this insight and wisdom because I bought an outdoor patio set to throw cocktails party with!

francesca’s little merry go round of life... the world of friends as I see it

Dr. Shake It, my Darling….

I am a unique SAGE cutting my own path. People who are closest me to me usually love me deeply & keep me for life even with all my flaws. So when you say, “Francesca, I can be a good friend” it’s all relative, your definition or mine…

CYBER HAREM:

are woman being kept in a man's internet dream world &  does not qualify for a true friendship.

LIFERS:

are my inner circle of friends.  They are invited into my heart, my space, my world & my mind.  With these friends we exchange honesty, secrets, vulnerability, simple sheer pleasures, emotional intimacy, genuine unconditional love & mutual acceptance of our flaws.

FLIGHT WEIGHTERS:

are friends that take part in my life… usually they are near to me & we do things together. Some of them develop into Lifers. Of course often these friendships can be carried through my lifetime but some fall by the waist side & linger for years. Pure honestly & mutual acceptance of our flaws has not been established or secured yet. It’s a garden that takes time to see where they grow.

FROOT CAMP:

is a place where these are people who are allowed to enter become a Lifer. Usually at some time a conflict has arose & we both demonstrated the ability to resolve with it with some level of dignity & mutual self-respect.

FWANNA BEES:

are my followers in the world at large who have the opportunity to meet me. I open my life to about all that I meet, without reservation & without inhibition. They find me crazy & refreshing in one swoop. They are often afraid to walk this line of being eccentric but like being near me. Living their life close to enough to me allows them to my droppings of excitement & passion for life.

FRAPARAZZI:

are my paparazzi. They merely find me intriguing in some way that they want to follow my life’s adventure and tribulations from their lazy boy chair with the foot pad raised.

VAMPIRINI:

are successful at “NID” or “Negative IV drips'. They are people who suck the life out of others. After 2 separate hospital stays of 17 days & 4 months of tri weekly blood draws for Coumadin resistance, I have no tolerance for vampirini.

FRANDS WITH BENEFITS:

are friends where we find a mutually beneficial foundation, whether its art sponsorship or travel or creative projects, we develop our dreams. 

FEUNUCHS:

are my counter position to a man's cyber harem, they are my eunuchs but with all of nature equipment in tact from nature with the intent of me being their exclusive focus... all applicants to date have been a little too young for my current values... or missing some quality i am looking for but thats open to change... no applications accepted yet... 

FRISTRACTORS:
are people who distract me from my life's purpose. They usually get reduced to my FRAPARAZZI list.


remember it's my blog.... and I get to talk about what I want...

So Dr. Shake It, what's it gonna be...?

what a small world it is.... Fra Filippo Lippi

Autoportrait of Fra' Filippo Lippi

Fra Filippo Lippi

AKA:                Filippo Lippi
Born:               c. 1406
Birthplace:         Florence, Italy
Died:               10-Oct-1469
Location of death:  Spoleto, Italy
Cause of death:     unspecified
Gender:             Male
Religion:           Roman Catholic
Race or Ethnicity:  White
Sexual orientation: Straight
Occupation:         Painter
Nationality:        Italy
Executive summary:  Coronation of the Virgin

What a small world it is....
In 2005 I studied art history at the Lorenzo Di Medici Art institute in Florance, Italy for 2 months. During our summer of classes, we the students had to choose 1 renaissance artist to study and recreate a new work of art that some how paralleled the story of this chosen artist from the past.


I chose Filippino Lippi the son of a Italian Monk, Friar, or Brother of the Roman Catholic Church. His father was Fra Filippo Lippi.


Today at my blogging headquarters, caffè  letterario, a tourist couple from Switzerland kept asking me where is the museum with the famous renaissance paintings. As any good ambassador would respond I said "whaaaat? We don't have that type of museum here..."


After pulling out my library card for 1 hour of free internet service on the boxes of shit we call computers here, I started my search... What I found out is that the father of this artist child I had studied the life of, actually lived here in Spoleto, painted the famous frescoes at out Duomo and in fact died in Spoleto. Hum, I thought... time for me to do some researching...


Then this evening I researched his father and found some mixed opinions of him floating out there in the world of internet information. 


The rumors ranged from he was poisoned here and killed by Umbrian folks to he father several children and was a despicable Friar who was was endlessly committing sins. 


The indisputable story he is was an amazing artists who then taught he son to be an even more remarkable artist. He was a man full of passion for the love of one beautiful woman and strayed between his desires for her and the church.


Here below are the 2 mains stories that seem to take different directions on one man's life which ended here in Spoleto in 1469 about 542 years ago.


http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09278a.htm
The great artist lived in the continual embarrassments caused by his deplorable morals. Never was anyone less fitted for religious life. His portraits show us a flat-nosed individual with a jesting, but vicious looking, thick-lipped, sensual face. To compel him to work Cosmo de' Medici was forced to lock him up, and even then the painter escaped by a rope made of his sheets.


His escapades threw him into financial difficulties from which he did not hesitate to extricate himself by forgery. Callistus III was obliged to deprive this unworthy monk, "who perpetrated many nefarious crimes", of a benefice. In 1452 the Carmelite was requested by the commons of Prato to paint the choir of the cathedral.


At length, despite his evil reputation, Lippi succeeded in having himself appointed chaplain of a congregation of Augustinians. Here his misbehaviour was no less flagrant than elsewhere. It is significant and shows plainly what were the ideas of the Renaissance that Lippi was not punished for his bad conduct. Glory or genius then constituted a soil of privilege and a warrant of impunity. Talent placed its possessor beyond and above the moral law. Not only did Cosmo di' Medicimake merry over what he called the "folly of the frater" (Letter of J. de Medici, 27 May, 1458), but Pope Pius II thought he could do no better than to release him from his vows and permit him to marry. A son, Filippino Lippi, had already been born to him. He afterwards had a daughter (1465). In the midst of these intrigues and disorders Filippo continued to paint his greatest works.


http://www.nndb.com/people/825/000084573/

The close of Lippi's life was spent at Spoleto, where he had been commissioned to paint, for the apse of the cathedral, some scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary. In the semi-dome of the apse is Christ crowning the Madonna, with angels, sibyls and prophets. This series, which is not wholly equal to the one at Prato, was completed by Fra Diamante after Lippi's death. That Lippi died in Spoleto, on or about the 8th of October 1469, is an undoubted fact; the mode of his death is again a matter of dispute. 

It has been said that the pope granted Lippi a dispensation for marrying Lucrezia, but that, before the permission arrived he had been poisoned by the indignant relatives either of Lucrezia herself, or of some lady who had replaced her in the inconstant painter's affections. This is now generally regarded as a fable and indeed a vendetta upon a man aged sixty-three for a seduction committed at the already mature age of fifty-two seems hardly plausible. Fra Filippo lies buried in Spoleto, with a monument erected to him by Lorenzo de Medici; he had always been zealously patronized by the Medici family, beginning with Cosimo, Pater Patriae. 

Francesco di Pesello (called Pesellino) and Sandro Botticelli were among his most distinguished pupils.

my eat, drink & have fun historical center Spoleto hang outs

Caffè letterario - VIA BRIGNONE 14

BAR PREMIATA PASTICCERIA TEBRO - VIA MINERVIO, 1

OSTERIA VECCHIO CAMINO - VIA POSTERNA, 21 

TAVERNA LA LANTERNA - VIA DELLA TRATTORIA, 6

CAFFE' DEGLI ARTISTI -  PIAZZA DEL MERCATO, 32

 RISTORANTE PIZZERIA TRE FONTANE - VIA BENEDETTO EGIO, 1

franky's picks: king of anything... Sara Bareilles... men are men from Colorado to Spoleto to Newcastle Upon Tyne !

Listen here to: KING OF ANYTHING music video is a must to listen to. She it too fabulous!


This song reads my mind. Whether it's the latest Doc in the USA, the latest Doc Italy  or the latest DOC in England... who died and made them my kings... just because they want to sleep with me. I don't think so.....


I get to decide this time in my life! This song says all I want to say to them...


Dedicated to Dr. Love (USA), Dr. Poetry (ITALY) and Dr. Shake It (ENGLAND)...

LYRICS:

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table

While I look outside

So many things I’d say if only I were able

But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man

We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked

So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine

And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning

There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent

Swear you know best

But you expect me to jump up on board with you

And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction

But you’ll never see

You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps

You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy

While I just hurt and hide

Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

pajama party @ francesca's in spoleto

For all of you who are close to me and know me well, you will be happy to hear I got an ungrade on pajamas! 


The days of sexy little thing have been over with since I traded them in for the zebra one of open heart surgery.


Since them 2006, I have been reusing 3 very worn out pajama, the zebra one, the Costco furry aqua marine blue ugly ones and some grey supermarket pj's.


Since the MALE GUESTS have been arriving in droves... I thought I need new pajamas! It is not what you think! They are mystery man and they arrive at all hours so I need to update my pajama look...


There are the Jehovah witness' 2 men trying to convert me that arrive, then the "some one parked their car in front of garage door at 10:30 p.m at night" man, and the "vacuum cleaner" sales man. The men next door that only arrives in his apartment once and a while who is rude and demands I move Nia's bikes. None the less, they are males and they are arriving...


The other mystery men are not coming to mind right now but they arrive. Some how the men have learned that single American aging Barbie doll boob look alike lives in an empty building with no lock on here street gate and no lock on my building door. So right up against my apartment door at all hours, half naked or in ugly pajama's they take turn arriving...


So with that in mind, I bought three new pairs of PJ's plus a light robe!


I further became Italian by buying fancy hangers for them to be hung on after my house cleaner "IRONS" my new pj's.


I will keep you posted to the direction of my secret men....


Last night I slept in the first pair and I loved them....


I can't seem to find the brand of the other PJ's on the internet but they have not been sported around my apartment yet....

a Spoleto VIRGIN... not one SOUL, one FOOTSTEP, one GLIMPSE before the 1st time

Paolo and I in 2006 before the heart crisis! 

Paolo swept us up the airport, whisking Nia and I away. As we were driving, I realized after a while we were leaving Rome...

“Paolo, where are we going? I thought we were staying in Rome?” I asked. "Francesca I am bringing you to your little town", as he thought of Spoleto being a true born and raised Roman.

We arrived at the Hotel Aurora and unpacked. He stayed with us a few days to help get settled down. Paolo and I had a quick chance to get reacquainted after this long separation of 14 months...

I arrived here so deathly sick not knowing a thing. The first quaint apartment I found, I signed a six month lease. My tourist visa was only for 3 months but what did I care...

What did I care? My mind was set on being alive at any moment since my suicidal thoughts were the one consistent and stable thing in my life. I still had not made friends with my heart for betraying me… nit with love but with illness, strokes, VTAC and actual pain. I referred to “this heart”…”the heart”, but not “my heart” as I was still mad at this heart from birth that caused me so many problems.

I had asked the doctors in the USA to put me away and let my sisters take Nia. They insisted I was not crazy. That I felt crazy but I did not display outward any crazy behavior. I begged to differ but since they have the degrees, what did I know…

Nia was 6 and I was scared. I knew I HAD to leave my life in the USA, if there was any chance of surviving. What I was out running I did not know… but I sure found out in the first 6 months in Spoleto.

Within 5 days we had our 1^st apartment and I started my escape from reality. I stocked our little apartment with food and threw all our clothes on the floor. For the next 3 years we lived this way. We would dig through terrible wrinkled clean clothes and throw the dirty one in a different pile. It really was the best I could do.

Paolo, stayed by my side coming up from Rome as the drama with my unconscious started playing out. He saw I had changed. Something was dreadfully different with me… but I was supported and loved the same by Paolo.

We three survived my 1^st six months in Italy as my body against my will forced upon me to enter into submission. I finally through my hands up and said,

“FINE, DESTROY ME IF YOU NEED TOO! But let’s get on with this! I will not fight you anymore. You can make me suffer all you want… I will remember what I do not remember. I will bleed it out every night like a torture sentence being forced to participate in these ongoing horror films where I are the lead actress having to save everyone from dying!”

It was 6 months straight of recovering lost memories where prior years “body memory flash backs” turned into “night terror recall” of all I actually had seen or known of violence. It was 6 months of pure hell of sheer desperation. I made friends with anyone who wanted to be my friend in this little quiet Umbrian village of Spoleto…